Dèjà Vu
by Siemprell
Summary: Mike takes Rachel's advice and leaves Pearson Darby. His departure brings Harvey to rethink his past, to reconsider that may be it's his fault that some had left him. (Explores Harvey's relation with Scottie, Zoe, Donna, and Mike)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own _Suits _or its characters.

Intent: To quote Donna, _I'm so sick of watching you fight like hell for everything that happens in here (the firm), but nothing in here (heart). _Well, maybe it's time that Harvey really fights for himself for once.

Update: last part of this chapter (I didn't realize that Donna lectured Harvey about fighting for himself in season 2's finale... So it was a bit of a glitch, had to change it. Sorry guys.

* * *

Chapter 1:

Mike sat motionlessly in his chair.

Rachel's words and scenes from his nightmare had gone on a continuous replay and circled irritably in his mind.

He was sitting in a brand new office, _his, _office. The office that he had endeavored ever since he bartered that suitcase for suits, the office that he thought an associate would have over a paralegal, the office that was given to him by the managing partner of the firm...

Mike scanned the room and his eyes eventually settled on the Harvard diploma, the _Honorius _that actually had his name on it, the Juris Doctor that he never earned, the piece of paper that never failed to mock him.

He stared at it for a long time before eventually shaking his head. A faint smile crept up to his lips.

He smiled because it wouldn't matter after all.

"Enjoying the night view?" Mike looked up and found Jessica leaning against the door. She was wearing a short-sleeved Merino sweater dress with a white blazer; the attire was more conservative than usual, though still it didn't fail to display her curves. Her wardrobes had their own ways of making her look stunningly gorgeous yet hardly approachable, perhaps exactly what someone in power would want, especially a woman in power.

Mike let out a laugh before nodding his head. There was a long silence before he eventually muttered _thank you. _The phrase was short and quite, but Jessica heard it and responded by revealing a small smile, a victory smile. Mike caught her smile before she turned around and left.

He meant those words.

Just not in the way Jessica had interpreted them.

It was an hour and forty-eight minutes past midnight; the firm was empty, but Mike had more than enough to do. He walked into Harvey's office in a fast pace, left a set of keys and a note in an envelope, and quickly walked towards the door. He turned and scanned the room before leaving, taking one good look of Harvey's record collection, of Harvey's desk, of the couch, of everything that he once shared with Harvey and that Harvey once was happy to share with him. He only took a quick look, because if he stayed any longer, he knew he would change his mind.

Walking out of the door, Mike approached Donna's desk. He reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a season pass to the Lincoln Center along with a Royal Shakespeare company's production of macbeth. It costed him a shit load of money to get it in such a short time but he didn't care. It was Donna, the beautiful and terrifying Donna that always teased and mocked him but nevertheless helped him whenever he was desperate, or _whenever he needed his ass wiped _as Donna liked to call it.

He also left a ticket for Louis, just a different showtime.

Eventually he walked towards Jessica's office. The lights were still on and the door was wide open. The open invitation reminded Mike of Jessica's words, that _he deserved to be here. _

Didn't that have a nice ring to it.

Mike laughed at that thought. He took a deep breath and left a sealed envelope on Jessica's desk.

Walking out, he turned off the lights, and refused to look back.

* * *

Harvey was fiddling with his phone as he walked out of the elevator until he heard the familiar clicking of heels as they met the floor throughout the hallway.

"Harvey." A well-acquainted voice called after him.

"Jessica." He put on his famous Specter smile as he turned to face her, but the seriousness in Jessica's eyes forced the corners of his mouth to drop lower. He waited for a reason.

"Thought you might want to see this."

Harvey regarded her with the mixture of concern and dubiousness. He took the opened envelope from Jessica's hands. "What is-"

As soon as Harvey's eyes saw the words _Michael James Ross _and _resignation _in the same line, he didn't bother to finish reading. He looked up and didn't bother to hide anything. At first it was genuine disbelief, but slowly his expression turned to anger, to disappointment. At last it was mixture of some darkness in the eye that even Jessica couldn't identify.

"The kid's gone, Harvey." She said, slow and deliberate, as though she feared her words wouldn't get to him.

He swallowed hard, "I know." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "I knew he was weak but I didn't think he-" Harvey croaked and broke off the last part of his sentence. He clenched his jaw and felt unease and anger intermingle in the pit of his stomach until suddenly somewhere in his body he felt that Jessica was pleased by Mike's resignation. He turned to stare at Jessica, and it wasn't long before Jessica registered what Harvey was thinking.

She scoffed, "I gave that kid an office. I told him it could be a symbol of what he could accomplish in this firm. So if you are going to blame me for this, you better have some goddamn reason to."

"You threatened him behind my back." Harvey growled.

"You went to Darby behind mine."

"And you negotiated a merger behind mine."

"That's because you brought a fraud into this firm in the first place." Jessica took a step closer to Harvey and lowered her voice, "You ask me whether I'm pleased about this situation, you are goddamn right I am. But if you are looking for someone to blame, need I remind you that if it weren't for you he would never have left? _This is on you, NOT me._"

Harvey's merely stood there in the hallway as Jessica walked away.

He didn't know what to make of the situation.

Wouldn't that be a first.

* * *

"So what are you going to do?" When the lawyer eventually calmed down and stepped into his office, that was the first thing he heard. The woman was wrapped in a green dress, sitting there on his couch with a solemn expression.

"Nothing." He shot her a glance before putting his suitcase down and turning on his corporate laptop.

"So you've risked everything for him just to do nothing when he decides to leave you?" The woman questioned as her meticulously arched brows rose.

"Donna..." He called her name in hopes that she would stop the argument. He wasn't in the mood to fight another round at seven-thirty in the morning. But Donna stubbornly shook her head at him, refusing to back down. He sighed, "Need I remind you that he betrayed us both? And that you were right there with me when I decided to turn him away?"

"Harvey, this is different. He left. For good. The kid adored, and still after all the shit you've given him, _still adores _you! Tell me, what would you have done if you were threatened with prison at his age?" By now the woman had stood up, and she inched closer to Harvey every sentence.

"It's not that simple." He lowered his voice.

"Remember what I said when you sent Scottie off to London? Well, you know what Harvey, maybe it's time that you fight for yourself."


	2. Chapter 2

As always, I do not own Suits.

This chapter may seem slow and out of place, but trust me, it's going to build up slowly till the end. Again to remind everyone of the theme, Harvey needs to fight for himself for once.

* * *

Chapter 2:

It wasn't until Donna came back from a rather lengthy bathroom break that Harvey found a little package on his desk. It was a white envelope with nothing written on it, unsealed too-as if the anonymous consigner knew that no one could get into his office easily, let alone steal anything. The lawyer hesitated when he felt a piece of metal inside; he hesitated because he knew what's inside.

_A final goodbye. _

Silence settled his office as he slowly opened the envelope with the slightest hope that it was some form of a business transaction, or client message, or anything of that sort.

_Just don't leave him. _

He didn't realize that he had been holding his breath until he had read the very last words of the note. He settled back in his chair, eyebrows pulled together, and a set of silver keys clenched in his fists.

The note had read:

_Harvey, _

_Perhaps Butch and Sundance never made it to Australia. _

_Thanks, and sorry for everything. _

The note was quite succinct. A cursive letter "G" was scribbled out in the end, leaving a black stain on the note...

_An unspoken Good-bye. _

Harvey had asked Donna to give Mike his keys after the kid had drunkenly barged into his suite. Occasionally he would return home to find the kid curled up on the couch, brows knit, as if some terrible nightmare had happened. Harvey would wrap Mike in a blanket and go on with his own business. Mike, on the other hand, would often wake up finding a cup of caramel latte, kept warm in an insulated cup.

Harvey threw the keys across the desk.

It's not the first time someone had left him, and certainly won't be the last.

* * *

The first person, to no one's surprise, was his mother.

He was sixteen when he caught his mother cheating. It was a winter Friday, he had came home because of early dismissal due to weather. He heard some noise and went upstairs to check. Peaking through a slim opening at the bedroom door, he saw another man in bed with his mom. As an adolescent boy, he knew enough not to ask, not to mention.

Two years went by, he didn't say a thing. The only thing he had done was to keep his brother, Marcus, away from his mother. He would get up early in the morning to cook them breakfast, to prepare lunch for Marcus, to do anything in his capability to keep Alvin on track, his grades impeccable, to do anything to prevent him from getting hurt, to make sure that he got home on time for his favorite TV show.

_He was, and still is, overprotective. _

He knew that one day that woman would leave him and Alvin, so he did his best to ensure that Alvin became _his _responsibility.

Then one day, with the sunrise in the East, she was ready to leave. Harvey watched her; he watched her pack her things, he watched her make a mess out of the bedroom, he watched her take everything that belonged to her, he watched her leave the house an empty mess.

_All he did was watch. _

Perhaps if he had said anything, if as a kid he had begged for the mother to stay, if he had manufactured some tears...

But he didn't.

He let his mother walk out of the front door, who gave him one last look before turning away.

_He let go for the first time. _He threw the word "mother" into a steep hole of darkness.

And there it stayed.


End file.
